Depression, EUPD, Invisible Illness, Mania, Mental Health, My Past, Undiagnosed Illness

Titanic & Me – A Match Made in Hell?


The Titanic sank due to a number of HUGE reasons… So did I (several times).

(Wait. I am going somewhere with this)

  1. It hit an iceberg – Doh!
  1. It was the Captains fault.

This was Captain E. J. Smith’s retirement trip. All he had to do was get to New York in record time. Captain E. J. Smith said years before the Titanic’s voyage, “I cannot imagine any condition which would cause a ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.” Captain Smith ignored seven iceberg warnings from his crew and other ships. If he had called for the ship to slow down then maybe the Titanic disaster would not have happened.

I’ve always gone full steam ahead. I don’t actually have an “Off” switch so have always used drugs and alcohol as “anchors” to try and slow down.

Nor do I heed any “warnings”. I find it extremely hard to accept criticism and always think I know best. Ergo – no-one needs to “warn” me because I know better. Was Captain Smith as arrogant as me? All I know is I’m still here…

  1. It was the ship builders fault.

About three million rivets were used to hold the sections of the Titanic together. Some rivets have been recovered from the wreck and analyzed. The findings show that they were made of sub-standard iron. When the ship hit the iceberg, the force of the impact caused the heads of the rivets to break and the sections of the Titanic to come apart. If good quality iron rivets had been used the sections may have stayed together and the ship may not have sunk.

Can I blame my problems on god or my parents? I don’t think so. The problems with my brain chemistry are evolutionary or environmental or a combination of both. And I don’t believe in god. Anyway, it’s not a blame game. I had a privileged, comfortable childhood and my parents were very forgiving with me. I was also very fortunate to have never experienced any major trauma or abuse – that came later and was mostly self-inflicted.

  1. It was Bruce Ismay’s fault.

Bruce Ismay was the Managing Director of the White Star Line and he was aboard the Titanic. Competition for Atlantic passengers was fierce and the White Star Line wanted to show that they could make a six-day crossing. To meet this schedule the Titanic could not afford to slow down. It is believed that Ismay put pressure on Captain Smith to maintain the speed of the ship.

YES! It’s all the fault of Capitalism! (Like hell it is…)

  1. It was Thomas Andrews’ fault.

The belief that the ship was unsinkable was, in part, due to the fact that the Titanic had sixteen watertight compartments. However, the compartments did not reach as high as they should have done. The White Star Line did not want them to go all the way up because this would have reduced living space in first class. If Mr Andrews, the ship’s architect, had insisted on making them the correct height then maybe the Titanic would not have sunk.

Well…. I’m arrogant but not tight. I have high standards but also (Like Mr Andrews) occasionally let them slip under pressure.

  1. It was Captain Lords’ fault.

The final iceberg warning sent to Titanic was from the Californian. Captained by Stanley Lord, she had stopped for the night about 19 miles north of Titanic. At around 11.15, Californian’s radio operator turned off the radio and went to bed. Sometime after midnight the crew on watch reported seeing rockets being fired into the sky from a big liner. Captain Lord was informed but it was concluded that the ship was having a party. No action was taken by the Californian. If the Californian had turned on the radio she would have heard the distress messages from Titanic and would have been able to reach the ship in time to save all passengers.

I NEVER blame anyone else for my own actions/mistakes.

So why do I think I’m mad? (Bear in mind that’s an official diagnosis) – To be honest I’m not sure.


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