Depression, EUPD, Invisible Illness, Mental Health, Undiagnosed Illness

KILLING ME SOFTLY (Part One – Don’t get upset – Part Two will explain more)

As the song goes – “Suicide Is Painless”.

Only if you do it right.

During my numerous visits to A&E and Intensive Care; I’ve been inundated with stories of the poor souls who fucked it up and had to endure the existence they wanted to end limbless, paralyzed and/or brain damaged.

So if you are going to do it; do it right, choose a method that can’t go wrong or be foiled by the good intentions of the Emergency Services.

My method of choice is Insulin overdose. I have it readily available and once low blood sugar level makes you pass out, coma then death should follow.

Obviously that hasn’t happened. Even after 4 bloody good tries…

Does that upset me?

It did at the time. I was angry at all the paramedics, doctors, nurses and friends and family that just couldn’t leave me to die. I didn’t stay angry with them – they were just doing their job and caring for me. I just didn’t want them to care and was resentful of their interference.

Then I got angry with myself. I messed up by doing it publicly or saying goodbyes too early.

Next time (sic) will be a toaster in the bath – warm, tasty and easy.


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