10/04/2015 00:46AM – KCH Trundle Ward – Waiting Room

“Waiting Room” is apt to say the least. I’m stuck in this bloody hospital ward for at least the next 4-5 days whilst they try to find out what’s wrong with me.
In my last blog I said I was quite excited & curious to see where this “minor” operation took me.

I was quite obviously full of shit….

My opinion has changed somewhat as the “minor” procedure now seems to have changed into a “major” fuck-up.
It appears that removing my gallbladder (which you can live happily without) has dislodged bile “sludge” into my “common bile duct” which is the anatomical equivalent of the M1 in your gut and you CANNOT happily live without….
Unfortunately (bearing in mind that nothing has been confirmed yet) the treatment to “remove” the sludge can be quite high risk.
Which of course brings back to mind the question of my mortality.
My thoughts are a bit confused on this subject now. I’ve made no secret of the fact I tried very seriously to kill myself twice earlier this year.

HOWEVER, I was, quite literally, in a different frame of mind then. With the aid of my new antipsychotic medication all thoughts of killing myself & the mind-numbing depression that plagued me 24/7 have all but vanished.

NOT that I’m now perfectly mentally healthy – Pfffttt – not by a long chalk…

The thought of dying still doesn’t scare me. I stick by my previous words – I see it as a great adventure and am very curious to hear/see the answer to life, the universe ans everything that bothers/obsesses everyone so much.


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