Living with a mental illness that affects your moods without warning is above all things frustrating.
One minute you can be filled with hope, insight, enthusiasm, creativity and all things bright and energetic. You can be a literal powerhouse.
The next minute/day/hour – nothing, emptiness…. a total void of emotion, energy and feeling…
The dark thoughts start coming back – “Why bother?” “What’s the point of me?” “Why can’t I create or do anything of value?”
And then the anger returns – you can snap at the slghtest thing. (and I often do)
My only hope now is that a change or increase in medication will help restore my mind back to where it was a couple of weeks ago but I have to wait another week now until I can see my doctor.
I was determined that this blog wouldn’t and shouldn’t be about depression and all things dark and horrible – I hsall try and think of something witty and amusing to write later….