Apparently I’ve lost the ability to string a coherent sentence together…
‘Tiny things come in small packages.’ (No shit Sherlock…)
‘Are you cold? I’m cold. I think it’s cold.’ (Yes Carl. It’s cold.)
‘Can I see the remote? – ‘Well yes, unless you’ve gone blind you can see the remote. Do you want the remote?’ – ‘Yes please. Big Bang is on.’ (I should point out that ‘remote’ in this case means the remote controller. Not things far away…)
Well, my thought would be…’ Who else’s thought would it be? You can’t be about to think something. You’ve already thought it!
‘My burp tasted like fart.’ – Eeewww… That’s one thing no-one wants to hear…
‘Do you think I need a jacket?’ – ‘It’s December and it’s snowing. Of course you don’t -Idiot.’
‘I can’t decide what to wear.’ – ‘Please start with underpants and take it from there.’
‘I think the bus is coming’ – ‘What, that big red thing, two storeys high? Why would you think that?’
People worry about me.
I’m beginning to understand why…