As regular readers are no doubt aware, I am a literary genius.
No, really. My Mum said so.
However, believe it or not, there is a lighter side to me.
Exactly! – You get me…
I trod on a frog last night.
What? I don’t believe you.
OK. You caught me out. I NEARLY trod on a frog last night. It hopped away looking more scared than me, which was quite difficult.
So I thought I’d give you a list of things I HAVE trodden on – in bare feet –
- Drawing Pins – More than I care to think about. Don’t ask me why. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships and I think ex-girlfriends may use them like caltrops
- Broken Glass – My own stupid fault. In hot weather I dislike wearing shoes at all and I used to live opposite a bar where all my friends liked to meet up for lunch on the weekend. D’oh!
- Excrement – Dog, cat, cow, ostrich, human – you name it, I’ve trodden in it.
- Snakes – Yup. Not poisonous ones but grass snakes (Common in the UK) – loads of the buggers.
- Slugs – My brother and I used to live in a converted stable and the kitchen ‘grew’ them I would swear. Any late night trip to the bathroom in the dark was oft accompanied by the thought – Please let that be a cold chip …
- Feelings – all my life I’ve trodden on those although admittedly not always in bare feet. Hob-nailed boots too.
- Live electric cables – not lethally. Obviously.
So there you go! Not a comprehensive list but some food for foot? 🙂