As regular readers are no doubt aware, I am a literary genius.

No, really. My Mum said so.

However, believe it or not, there is a lighter side to me.

You’re kidding.

Exactly! – You get me…

I trod on a frog last night.

What? I don’t believe you.

OK. You caught me out. I NEARLY trod on a frog last night. It hopped away looking more scared than me, which was quite difficult.

So I thought I’d give you a list of things I HAVE trodden on – in bare feet

  • Drawing Pins – More than I care to think about. Don’t ask me why. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships and I think ex-girlfriends may use them like caltrops
  • Broken Glass – My own stupid fault. In hot weather I dislike wearing shoes at all and I used to live opposite a bar where all my friends liked to meet up for lunch on the weekend. D’oh!
  • Excrement – Dog, cat, cow, ostrich, human – you name it, I’ve trodden in it.
  • Snakes – Yup. Not poisonous ones but grass snakes (Common in the UK) – loads of the buggers.
  • Slugs – My brother and I used to live in a converted stable and the kitchen ‘grew’ them I would swear. Any late night trip to the bathroom in the dark was oft accompanied by the thought – Please let that be a cold chip …
  • Feelings – all my life I’ve trodden on those although admittedly not always in bare feet. Hob-nailed boots too.
  • Live electric cables – not lethally. Obviously.

So there you go! Not a comprehensive list but some food for foot? 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Things I have trodden on …

  1. Things I’ve steps on in the middle of the night with closed eyes and full bladder while on my way to the bathroom:

    Dog tail- she wasn’t happy
    Moon beam- my curtains are crappy
    Vomit- my dog was undoubtedly getting reveng for the previous trod upon.
    Lego- this…this small little toy could be used as a torture device. I said bad words that night…very bad words.
    Poop- does my dog even love me?
    Plastic army man- the soldier had it coming. You don’t pull night ops in the middle of a hallway without a flanking lookout. Hopefully the other soldiers learn something from his death.

    Liked by 1 person

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