Why are you doing this?
Urinating in a public place is an offence Sir.
But I AM the public!
That doesn’t make it right Sir. It’s against the law.
I pay my taxes! You work for me!
I pay my taxes too Sir. I guess that makes me self-employed.
You’re supposed to protect and serve me!
I protect and serve everyone Sir. At the moment I’m protecting them from the stench of your urine and the sight of your penis.
There’s not enough public toilets!
Perhaps you’re not paying enough tax Sir?
Well I’m a citizen! You shouldn’t be doing this. You should be catching REAL criminals!
Well I’m a citizen too Sir. I’m just upholding the law for citizens.
I’m going to report you! You’re not a good police officer.
Well alright Sir. In that case I just came off the clock. Now I’m just like you.
Well take these cuffs off then!
I can’t do that fellow member of the public.
I’m making a Citizen’s Arrest.