I love the rain.

Really? Why have you been complaining about not being able to go to the shops and the roof leaking for the past 48 hours? – I don’t believe you.

I love the smell of freshly mown grass.

Really? Why are your eyes puffy, your cheeks red and there are Kleenex stuffed up each nostril? – I don’t believe you.

I love those ‘quirks’ you have.

Really? Why am I sleeping on the sofa? – I don’t believe you.

I love long walks on the beach.

Now you’re fucking lying.

I love your sense of humor.

Really? Why don’t you ever laugh then? – I don’t believe you.

My farts don’t smell.

Seriously? Please say that with a straight face. – I don’t believe you.

I love you.

OK. Now I believe you.

Who doesn’t?

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