Well. After a completely sleepless night, thanks to my delightful neighbors, I’m at a loss what to write about today. So I thought I’d give you an update on my acolyte, Twig-Twog, and his continued search for divine enlightenment.
Wouldn’t you rather vent and describe the many ways in which you’d like to murder your neighbors?
Well. I would but I shan’t. I shall rise above it and talk about Twiggers instead.
I thought he annoyed you?
Well, he does. But like they say – “The better of two evils”
Twig-Twog is still obsessed with me. His messiah. But he has adopted new (slightly creepy) tactics.
Rather than sitting at my knee, gazing adoringly at me from one static position.
He now has a new strategy.
What does he do now?
Good question. He now attempts to set my mind more at rest. He still adopts the same position but farther away.
Well that’s better isn’t it? You said his close proximity was disturbing your writing.
You’d think. But it’s a ruse. A bluff. When I look away he quickly edges closer then adopts exactly the same posture. Stealth tactics. He thinks I won’t notice as he moves in for the ‘kill’.
N.B. ‘Kill’ in this sense means me capitulating to his silent (yet fervent) demands and picking him up and giving him a ‘stroke’ or ‘cuddle’. The cat equivalent of me waving a white flag and signing a detrimental peace treaty and demands for reparations.
Aw. That’s cute!
No it isn’t. Ever see that Dr Who episode with the moving angel statues that only crept up on you when you weren’t looking? It won several awards and was called Blink. The aliens were called Weeping Angels.
Ah. I can see why you’re a bit freaked…
Too right. Anyone want a ‘cat’ for Christmas? He’s very cute.