Annoyances, Blogging, Blogs, Cheese, Commentary, Humor, Hunger

Mystery Cheese – Don’t go there…

Mystery cheese? Should I even ask?

You’ll have to now won’t you.

*Sigh* What’s with the mystery cheese Carl?

I’m glad you asked. In the local shop last night I was staring dumbly at the chiller cabinet thinking about salami (which they didn’t have) and a pack of cheese caught my eye. It looked suspiciously like goats cheese which I love so bought it on an impulse.

Ooh! Was it goats cheese?

Sadly not.

What was it then?

Absolutely disgusting.

Aww. That’s a shame.

Not really. I’m saving it for the next time someone visits that I don’t really like. Got some stale biscuits somewhere too.

You’re mean.

That’s news?


Blogging, Blogs, bright side of life, Commentary, Humor, Idiots

Being ‘cool’ – how can they do it?

Man it’s been hot in London today. 33 degrees, blistering, painful even.

And what’s that got to do with looking cool?

Well. I’m in shorts and a very thin tee and venture out on the bus to go to the swimming pool.


So, I’m on this bus and the sweat is pouring into my eyes, my headphones fell off off because not enough friction. I’m using my swimming towel to wipe myself down and lamenting my lack of foresight to bring a bottle of water.


Every time I look out of the window there are all these kids walking around with their hoods up, wearing woolen hats. Hell, I even saw one in a North Face Puffa jacket? (Yes, not that it matters but they were all black)


I was thinking, how can you do that? Do you not know how ****ing hot it is for crying out loud? Were you born without sweat glands?


Anyway. I went for my swim and I even sweated 3 ounces in the pool. Afterwards I met with a friend for a coffee and a chat. For coffee read 3 pints of iced water.


A mutual West Indian friend of ours stopped by where we sitting on the street (He’s a delivery driver) and when he gets out of the van he starts kicking it and swearing about how he can’t believe his company bought him a new van and didn’t think to get one with air conditioning.


He sees us and says hi, and he’s sweating his cojones off even just wearing a vest and shorts.


I say – “Thank god! Black men can sweat! What is it with all these kids wrapped up like it’s January?”


He replied – “Oh, they do it to look cool… Idiots”

I bought him a Frappachino…


Adversity, Annoyances, Blogging, Blogs, Commentary

If only life were a story….

What now Carl? Surely every life is a story…

Well yes, but you’re not getting my point.

So what is your point?

As a writer I get to choose how my story goes. I can change the situations, move the characters around, decide what happens etc.

So you like being in control, playing god and making everything as you want it?


And real life is a bit trickier?

Exactly. It’s annoying.

So what can you do?

I’m working on it…. You may be edited out cos you’re annoying me now too…


The path of my life is strewn with cowpats…

I’ll write something new soon…. Promise.


“The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd.”

Black Adder – Episode 2.1 – Money

One of my favorite quotes. But is it true of my life?

Sometimes it feels that way. Catastrophe followed by crisis followed by drama followed by adversity…

Illness, accidents, poor luck, problems not (for once) of my own making, the list sometimes seems endless…

But is my quality of life that bad? You have to look at the positives. I’m not homeless (anymore), my personal relationships are healthy and/or improving, I’ve got food in my belly, I’m still breathing (admittedly an important factor to have any quality of life), heating, light, TV and perhaps most importantly, internet access!

Could be worse…

I like to think that I don’t complain excessively or look for sympathy but perhaps that’s exactly what I’m doing here? Damn it… 😉

At least I…

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