Blog, Blogging, Blogs, collecting, Commentary, worms

Things I’m no good at – Part 3 – Worm Collecting.

Ummmm…. Carl?


WTF? I mean, seriously, WTF?

Oh, you mean the worm collecting?

Ummmm…. YES!!!

Ok, that’s there just because I heard it at a dinner party where someone asked what people’s hobbies were and that was one of the answers. I don’t actually collect worms myself but I’m assuming that if I were to I probably wouldn’t be very good at it.

Because you don’t like worms?

No, I’m fairly ambivalent about worms.

Why are we having this conversation?

I have no idea. YOU started it.

No I didn’t.

I think you did. I suggest you read back and check. You’ll find I’m correct.

Why do I talk to you?

Now that’s a much better question! Why do you talk to me?

It’s better than collecting worms?

There you go…


Adversity, Age, Batman, Behaviour, Bigotry, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, bright side of life, Commentary, Fantasy, General Humor, General Humour, Growing up

Things I’m no good at – Part 2 – Harbouring resentment…

You have to be seriously ‘effing kidding Carl. You! No good at resentment? You’re ‘aving a giraffe mate…

No, it’s true. I can’t do it anymore. Not always the case admittedly. When I was a teenager I could sulk for days. Literally days. And in later life I could build a grudge into a beast of horrific proportions and ‘I pity the fool’ that would dare to cross me..

But now? What, so you’re some saintly character that can ‘forgive and forget’ with nary a backward glance?


I don’t believe you.

That’s unfortunate but I forgive you kind reader…


Ok, I may be exaggerating a little but with the state of the world (and recent personal experiences) I’ve found that being upset all the time is just too exhausting.

So you’ve decided to adopt a brighter outlook and sense of optimism and leave all the bad feelings to others?

Yes, but I secretly now despise all those who whinge about their situation, political leaders, natural disasters and those who perpetrate violence and bigotry to others. I also secretly work incognito behind the scenes to punish wrong-doers and bring bring happiness and justice to the world…

Like some kind of costumed, incognito superhero? Like Batman or The Arrow or Wonder Woman?

YES! Exactly like that. But in secret without anyone knowing a thing…



Do you not see what you just did?

Oh. Bollocks. đŸ˜¦





Adversity, Awkward Situations, Behaviour, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Challenge, Commentary, Conversation, General Humor, General Humour, Had enough, Humor

Things I’m no good at – Part 1 – Plastic Bags…

Shouldn’t the first thing on your list be writing good blogs?

F*** off. That was a cheap shot…

Ok, you’re right. That was an easy win. So, what is it with you and plastic bags?

Thanks for the apology. Doesn’t mean you’re off the list though. Anyway, I have issues with plastic bags. I find them very frustrating and a constant source of embarrassment…

Huh? Frustrating? Because they always break?

No. Because I can’t open them. I can seperate them off the roll etc. but I cannot for the life of me get them to open in order to put things in. Rubbing them between my hands, breathing on them, licking my finger-tips, picking with my nails…. They frustrate me every time, refusing to part their ‘lips’ and I always have to ask someone (usually the shop assistant ) to help me… (And yes, I do appreciate the irony there…)

Ooohhh, this does sound serious. Are you harbouring any thoughts of self-harm? Have you made any plans?

F*** you… You’re at the top of the list now. My question is this… Am I the only one? Is there anyone else out there that has the same affliction?

Are you looking for a date? Are you really that lonely?

That’s it… I really am after you now. I would asphyxiate you with with a plastic bag over the head and some duct-tape but…. *sigh* I can’t ever find the end of the duct-tape either… (Ironically)

Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Commentary, Education, Language

Flavourful vs. Flavoursome

What do you find flavoursome Carl?

Well, that’s my point. I find NOTHING flavoursome!

So what do you find flavorful then?

Again, NOTHING! I hate both words. They both make my skin crawl. Everytime I hear them I want to scream at the person who dared to use them and give them a slap.

But why? They’re both real words. They’re both in the dictionary.

I’m aware of that. However I hate them, they’re both horrible, they don’t sound right and they should be banished from the English language forever.

Who made you the god of language?

*Sigh* No-one. Unfortunately. But I will say this, there’s nothing wrong with ‘tasty’…


Adversity, Angst, Blog, Blogging, Blogs, Commentary

Therein lie the stuffing…

Is that you Carl? It’s alive! Alive… Alive… alive…

Yes. I’m still on the planet… allegedly...

Ooh, you’re not sounding your usual bolshoi self…

Yeah, it’s been a funny old year, kinda had the stuffing knocked out of me.

Sorry to hear that, although it does almost explain the weird title…

Well, part of my stuffing (that has been temporarily knocked out) must be creativity because I’ve been bereft of inspiration.

But there’s been so much going on in the world! Don’t you have any opinions anymore?

Of course I do but do I want to talk about them? No, I don’t. I’ve been converted by the old adage – ‘If you don’t have anything good to say then keep your bloody mouth shut because there’s more than enough misery as it is…’

Is that really how the saying goes?

Yes, sod off. My blog, my rules. (Hmmm, maybe a little bit of stuffing remains?)

We certainly hope so, we’ve missed your snarky takes on current events and human behaviour.

Well I promise I’ll try harder from now on. But no whinging or depressing stuff. You can watch the news for that.

So what’s next?

I’ve been cooking a lot recently. I may make some bread-crumbs and try my hand at stuffing.

Well, enjoy!

‘Eff off…