Commentary, Humor, Open Mic, Poetry

Bit rude but extremely funny. (Or maybe it’s just me)



SOoo, Ladies, Gentlemen and Undetermined (Let’s not get onto Jordan Peterson now though, I haven’t got the time or patience for an argument)

I was out at an Open Mic night recently and was fortunate to witness the first ever performance by a delightful young lady with refreshing honesty and absolutely no qualms about expressing her views on sex and relationships with men through the medium of potty-mouthed poetry. 😮

She’s kindly given me permission to reproduce one of her works here so it’s with great pleasure that I present for your enjoyment – India Gillett and ‘Mother Fucker’.

I straddled his waist.
He said ‘you’ve got your mum’s arse’,
As he grabbed a handful. 
He grinned… so I laughed. 

He was my childhood crush, 
So part of me was flattered 
And maybe he just said that thing
Because we were quite battered. 

No…

That was fucking weird! 
Did he think it would impress?
Is that what you say to a girl
You’re trying to undress?

At least he was honest…
Said he’s a grower not a show-er!
Not that it ever mattered
My hands never went lower.

I called it all off,
Said he felt like my brother.
Now when our families meet
I’m sure he flirts with my mother.

We still get along though, 
Our friendship’s not grown colder
And he’s got a girlfriend now…

She’s twenty years older.

*Huge Applause!!!

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