Annoying, Commentary, Humor

Things I’m no good at – Part 8 – Not annoying police officers…

Oh dear god Carl. Why are you going around annoying police officers?

I’m sorry (Not really) – but it’s just too easy.

It’s too easy to annoy people who can arrest you and put you in a cell?

Yes, you see I used to work for the police in the finance department and I know full well that because it’s Feb\March they’re all having having to do overtime because their bosses need to spend their budgets before the new financial year. So the officers are happy getting the overtime pay but exhausted and cranky too.

So you think it’s a good idea to annoy them?

Absolutely. My standard operating procedure is to stare at them as they drive past then glance away and look as furtive as possible. It’s hilarious (for me).

And they stop and come and question you?

No, annoyingly, but I’ve found a work around.

And what pray tell is that?

I take off all my clothes and run down the street yelling I’m Santa.

And are you Santa? Albeit a naked one.

Sure, why not. If it makes you happy. (Weirdo)…

 

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Behaviour, Commentary, General Humor, Insomnia, Mania

Things I’m no good at – Part 7 – not smiling at people…

Sorry, what Carl? You’re apologising for smiling at people? Being nice?

Correct.

Why on earth should you have to say sorry for being nice?

Very good point. The thing is, I live in London, a huge metropolis of approximately 8.5 million people.

And you insist on smiling at all of them? You must be exhausted.

Not just that. When I’m experiencing hypomania I also, wait for it, talk to people too!

Well, we admire your ambition if nothing else.

Thank-you. However, there are some issues that can arise out of this happiness, exuberance and energetic behaviour. Apparently I’m a ‘pouncer’….

You sell short weights on things?

Idiot. No, I ‘pounce’ on people and insist on making them listen to me. Especially on buses.

Can’t that be dangerous in a big, violent city like London?

Nah. Only if it’s the driver. Then it can get messy…  😉