Commentary, Politics

Friday 13th July 2018 – What protesters will do wrong. And how to really piss Trump off and why.

Hmmm Carl. More of your pearls of wisdom?

Hey, it’s me. What did you expect?

OK, we’ll give you thirty seconds. IF you’re lucky.

You read that fast? Good for you…

*Sigh* Just get on with it…

Remember, you asked. Regular readers will know that I have mental health ‘issues’ on top of being an extreme Alpha, Aries, opinionated man with undeserved over-confidence and an over-inflated sense of self-importance?

We can’t really argue with that…

I know. If you care to look, this is a description of Donald Trump’s personality traits according to his zodiac. https://www.elitedaily.com/life/depth-look-donald-trumps-zodiac-chart-birthday/1991759 

So?

He and I are not the same (Please higher power, no) , however we do share some interesting similarities. Therefore I think I know the best way to make a statement (should you wish to do so) to really upset him if\when he visits the UK.

Go on… How?

Ignore him and the visit. Carry on with your own life. Don’t demonstrate. Don’t even watch TV or go on Twitter or FaceBook and comment. Ghost him. Pay no attention whatsoever. Above all, do not go out with placards and boo etc.

And that will help how?

You’ll be crucifying him. It could tip him over the edge. The anathema for this man (As me) is to be ignored. He will be asking for the briefcase with the red button in it the whole time he’s here. Because he’ll be furious and itching to nuke the UK. Obviously not Scotland cos of his golf-course but possibly the wind-farm in the sight-line as a bonus.

Really?

I’m 100% sure. Of course it’ll never happen because so many people will feel that they should make a ‘statement’, which is all well and good but the mass demonstrations will have exactly the opposite effect to what they would like to achieve. This man will not feel ashamed or change his mind or behaviour. In fact, it’ll encourage and gratify him more than you can imagine.

You really think you are that in touch with him? Doesn’t that worry you?

Not really. You’re paying attention to me. I’m happy with that.

We see what you did there. But still hate you…

Perfect. You were listening then…  xxx

 

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bright side of life, Commentary, General Humour

Life of Bryan. It’s all about the tea and biscuits.

Ummm, Carl?

Yes?

Shouldn’t it be Life of Brian?

Nope. I’ve been told without question that it’s Bryan with a Y.

OK, not sure we understand but undoubtedly you’ve got an explanation.

I do.

*Sigh* – So who is Bryan, with a Y?

He’s an employee of a friend. He does the gardening. Allegedly.

Why only allegedly?

I’m getting the feeling it’s only a job title. My friends garden isn’t going to be winning any awards soon or featured on a BBC lifestyle show.

Why is this any concern of yours?

It isn’t, but well, you know, he’s not young and needs the work and there’s all this concern about Windrush at the moment. It’s a hot topic.

OMG! Is he going to get deported because of working and living illegally?

Good question. He seems to be in the kitchen looking for tea and biscuits more than in the garden. Might be he’s staying out of sight of the authorities. Do you think it’s possible my friend might be unwittingly harbouring a fugitive?

Hopefully not. Poor souls, both of them. Is your friend West Indian as well?

As well as what?

Is she West Indian like Bryan? The spelling makes more sense now.

Bryan isn’t West Indian. He’s from Brighton.

Brighton is in Jamaica! He must be West Indian.

He’s from Brighton in East Sussex you dolt.

So why are you worried about him being deported?

I’m not worrying about him being deported! I’m visiting soon and just worried all the biscuits will be gone and there’ll be nowhere to sit in the garden now the weather’s turned nice. Seriously, I don’t know where your mind goes sometimes… Pfffttt, I need better readers and followers.

We hate you sometimes Carl.

Good.