Ummm, Carl?

Yes?

Shouldn’t it be Life of Brian?

Nope. I’ve been told without question that it’s Bryan with a Y.

OK, not sure we understand but undoubtedly you’ve got an explanation.

I do.

*Sigh* – So who is Bryan, with a Y?

He’s an employee of a friend. He does the gardening. Allegedly.

Why only allegedly?

I’m getting the feeling it’s only a job title. My friends garden isn’t going to be winning any awards soon or featured on a BBC lifestyle show.

Why is this any concern of yours?

It isn’t, but well, you know, he’s not young and needs the work and there’s all this concern about Windrush at the moment. It’s a hot topic.

OMG! Is he going to get deported because of working and living illegally?

Good question. He seems to be in the kitchen looking for tea and biscuits more than in the garden. Might be he’s staying out of sight of the authorities. Do you think it’s possible my friend might be unwittingly harbouring a fugitive?

Hopefully not. Poor souls, both of them. Is your friend West Indian as well?

As well as what?

Is she West Indian like Bryan? The spelling makes more sense now.

Bryan isn’t West Indian. He’s from Brighton.

Brighton is in Jamaica! He must be West Indian.

He’s from Brighton in East Sussex you dolt.

So why are you worried about him being deported?

I’m not worrying about him being deported! I’m visiting soon and just worried all the biscuits will be gone and there’ll be nowhere to sit in the garden now the weather’s turned nice. Seriously, I don’t know where your mind goes sometimes… Pfffttt, I need better readers and followers.

We hate you sometimes Carl.

Good.

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