I’m pink therefore I’m spam…

Can’t be bothered to write anything new cos too busy sun-bathing but I am undeservedly proud of this old one I stumbled upon


“Without Spam we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army”. – Nikita Khrushchev

Spam is ‘mixed-up’ canned meat consisting mainly of pork shoulder plus additives. Of course many people believe it to contain more unsavoury cuts such as snout. The truth of this is debatable.

Why are you spam?

Easy. I too am a little ‘mixed-up’ and you can never be quite sure what you’re going to get. I talk about aliens, pants and Post Offices for crying out loud!

Why are you pink?

Well, I’m a little embarrassed writing this very personal piece plus if someone else can be a ‘color’ then so can I. I’m pink and if you’ve got a problem with that I shall out you on Twitter.

Do you contain unsavoury body parts?

Of course I do! I also have a few on the outside. People tell me I have nice eyes though.

Do you come…

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The Querilous Condition of Dissonant Cognition

Sobriety Manifesto

So often, and I mean I swam in this fugue for years, I told myself I’d dry out. I’d be walking home through east Portland, down Hawthorne to the one bedroom place I shared with another actor. I’d tell myself I wouldn’t buy that beer. That one that I could already taste, that I could already feel trespassing my lips and rushing through my chest like the purifying slider that it had become. Yeah. That one.

Sometimes I’d make it through that gauntlet of brewpub after taproom, past Fred Meyer for the cheap stuff or New Seasons for something more precocious. If I took the bus all the way down the line, I knew if be in the clear. Not always, but if my conviction was true that night, that evening, that afternoon, I’d slip inside and settle in, take a proud sigh of relief, and begin the next cycle…

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