“My Gran died last night :'( ” – Really? Which one?

OMG! You didn’t really say that did you Carl?

No. Of course not. But I am trying to make a point.

Uh oh. Is this going to be a rant?

It was. But I’m going to hold myself back. I’m getting so sick of all the misery on Facebook at the moment that I’m actually starting to hate my ‘Friends’. I nearly deleted my account last night and I’ve been on it since 2007.

What do you mean ‘misery’?

Well, maybe it’s the time of year, but why does every bit of misfortune that befalls anyone have to be put out there for all and sundry to take discomfort from? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unsympathetic but I’m starting to feel pressurised to ‘care’ about a lot of stuff when in fact I could give a shit.

Don’t read it then.

Ah! That good old stock answer. My reply – don’t write it. Keep personal stuff exactly that – personal. I’m very sorry that you’re dead, dying, diagnosed with something horrible or that your penis is a bit scabby but tell me in a PM please. *Sigh*. – Rant over. Got it out of my system.

What are you going to do now?

Check the updates on the ‘friends’ I don’t really like and see if anything nasty has happened to them. I know they’ll make a big deal of telling everyone and it’ll cheer me up.