Things I’m no good at – Part 7 – not smiling at people…

Sorry, what Carl? You’re apologising for smiling at people? Being nice?

Correct.

Why on earth should you have to say sorry for being nice?

Very good point. The thing is, I live in London, a huge metropolis of approximately 8.5 million people.

And you insist on smiling at all of them? You must be exhausted.

Not just that. When I’m experiencing hypomania I also, wait for it, talk to people too!

Well, we admire your ambition if nothing else.

Thank-you. However, there are some issues that can arise out of this happiness, exuberance and energetic behaviour. Apparently I’m a ‘pouncer’….

You sell short weights on things?

Idiot. No, I ‘pounce’ on people and insist on making them listen to me. Especially on buses.

Can’t that be dangerous in a big, violent city like London?

Nah. Only if it’s the driver. Then it can get messy…  😉

 

MILF – because I can…

Well what do you expect at 2.30am on a Saturday morning when counting legs on paralympic sheep hurdlers has failed? Something tasteful and thoughtful? This is going to be the Lamb Donor of poetry and if you don’t like the taste then cover it with chili sauce like everyone else. (Unless, like me, you prefer garlic)

MILF

by Carl Baumann

Many Indignant Leprous Farmers

leave Mess In their Lemon Flip-flops

Massive Impressions Left by Fanatics

Move Into a Loft in France

Macho Isis Loves to Fight

Me. I Love to Fool

Many. I Look Forward –

but Mostly I Look For

SENSE

But you won’t find much of that here… 😉