The day before THE DAY …

So tomorrow is it. 1st October.

In the UK we have a campaign called Stoptober. It’s an initiative created by the National Health Service to provide information, encouragement and support for people to stop smoking. Basically the premise is that if you can stop smoking for 28 days during the month then you will be five times more likely to quit for good.

So this year we (my partner and I) are going for it.

Quitting.

Giving up the fags.

Embracing a new, healthier and richer lifestyle.

Great! How do you feel about that?

Absolutely terrified.

Now, I’m no stranger to giving stuff up. I shan’t name them but let’s just say a lot of them aren’t considered to be a walk in the the park.

So giving up smoking tobacco should be easy!

Yeah. Right. Easy.

In many ways, yes, it will be. 90% of the battle is just making the decision. Once that’s done you just have to remember that your mind and body will try to trick you.

This is the worst you’ve ever felt. You must be dying.

Just one more. For old times sake. THEN give up. It’ll be easier.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Hey, but I don’t like it when ANYONE lies to me.

So sod off me. I’m not taking it.

Not a clue …

Not a clue what to write today.

I’m not that often without something to say. A lot of people would probably say that’s a shame. 😉

But everyone has their limits. I quite often wish other people would keep their mouths shut too. Mainly because it can be either nonsense or unnecessary.

But communication is vital. Let’s all be grateful telepathy isn’t common yet. The amount of rubbish that flits through my mind a million times a second even I don’t want to hear.

I do try to make my writing thoughtful, or thought provoking, or educational or at the very least humorous.

Today?

Not a clue …

So I’ll shut up.

OMG – What a moron.

This is not a blog topic I want to dwell on, and this will be it, but just woke up and found another email from momo akosuo (mr.makosuo1@gmail.com) in my inbox this morning.

Not only is he still trying to convince me to send my bank details etc. so he can ‘share’ my $6.5 millions dollar inheritance with me but he has provided me with an ID card to prove his identity –

Well I’m sold!

A gmail email address! – All the banks use those. Must be genuine.

A bank manager wanting to extort half a clients inheritance. Standard Operating Procedure! Everyone knows that.

And look at their Head Office!

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

Impressive eh?

No need to blog or write any more. I’m a millionaire!

Please be happy for me. (But don’t ask me for money)

I spent it all this morning on lottery scratch cards …

Am I the right person to email?

Entirely up to you, but I’m drawing a line. Enough is enough. If you would like to email this guy, I would love it. Also, I’m not joking with what I’ve said to him … Please reblog?

Ok Mr Momo Akosuo (mr.makosuo1@gmail.com) – Thank you for the personal, badly spelt, email informing me that some of my family members have died tragically in a car accident and you are now in possession of my inheritance that you will generously give me 50% of and keep 50% yourself. Also, thank you for providing me with your email, address and phone numbers. I’m booking a ticket to the Congo now and when I get there we’re going to have a very similar conversation to this…

Oh man, It’s Sunday

Sunday’s. Not that keen. They don’t rock my boat. Bit flat. Listless. Boring. Really awful films on TV. Pressure to eat a nice meal. Pfffttt.

Pfffttt. Using that too much. ‘Pfffttt’ that is.

Had a discussion yesterday. I’ve noticed that I’ve used words and concepts, written posts, that use a lot of terms like God, the Devil, Heaven, Hell etc. a lot over the past few months. I questioned myself and asked for a third party opinion.

Do you think religion has snuck up on me?

Possibly. You do talk about it a lot.

Does that mean I’m becoming religious?

Probably not. You always say you’re not and why. But you do have a moral side (occasionally) and language doesn’t always leave too much room for expressing that without the obvious allusions.

It’s a pain. I try to be ‘nice’ (not always, but sometimes) and go around in circles. What’s up with that?

Maybe nothing. You can only play with the cards you’re dealt.

True. Unless you cheat. But that goes against my personal code. If I can’t win honestly then I’d rather not play the game.

A fellow writer asked a question on the Devil’s invention – Facebook – the other day. “I need a moral code for my fantasy characters. Any suggestions?” (And yes. I do know I just did it again)

I didn’t comment but the thought that went through my head was – How about the ten commandments? They don’t suck. They actually make a lot of sense. Does that make me a Christian or just nice?

I’m going with nice. Christianity sucks (Just my opinion. Don’t get offended. I feel the same about ALL organised religions)

I don’t have any issues with nice. Or respect. Or helping each other. I do have issues with law and order, people with their heads stuck up their bottoms etc. But nice? I can live with that.

Well there I go. I guess. I’m not religious. I’m just nice.

Well probably not. But I do try.

😉

It only takes thirty seconds …

NO! I do know what you’re thinking. (Perverts)

What can you do in thirty seconds? Half a minute.?1/120 of an hour?

Anything? Nothing? Wreck a relationship? Get married? Conceive a baby? Break the sound barrier?

Pfffttt. 30 seconds. That’s nothing.

Could you kill someone? Come up with an idea that changes the world?

If you trained. Maybe you could put up a tent? Do the washing up? Decide that you hate your job and change it?

Maybe you could Google and find the answer to the question that’s been bugging you?

WHAT could YOU do in 30 seconds?

Write a blog maybe? 😉

Desperation in the UK …

Credit for this piece goes to my partner, Nici.

Last Monday Nici had to get a train from Harrogate in Yorkshire back to London.

The train was rammed, packed floor to ceiling, standing room only. Basically hell on wheels. The previous train had been cancelled so there was twice the number of passengers there should have been

Now the British are a very stoic lot. Stiff upper lip and all that. Nici helped out a very nice (apparently) Scottish chap who had struggled into the carriage with his golf clubs (and a carrier bag full of lager). This chap took the seat opposite but then gave it up for an older lady who was in more need. Time passed. The chap went off in search of the buffet car (and toilet) to get more ‘refreshment’.

A burning smell filled the air and there was suddenly an influx of passengers who attempted to cram themselves into the already crowded space to escape the acrid fumes.

A rather ‘generous’ young woman attempted to sit on the floor next to Nici and the older woman who had been given her seat by the nice Scottish chap. The older lady spoke up –

I’m sorry Love, you can’t sit there!

Why not?

That piece of floor is reserved. There’s a man standing there …

Only in the UK…

Competition …

I did a little bit about God and Heaven yesterday. Now, I’m not religious. Doesn’t mean I disrespect those who do have faith and belief and get reassurance and meaning from it, just not my cup of tea.

I commented that it’s a popular conception that life is a test (perhaps a little irreverently but that’s just me).

Now, a test can also be compared to a competition? I know not all tests are competitions but some definitely are. Some can gain you a prize or reward. Some will just help you prove your own ability to yourself and that’s a good for thing for your self-confidence and encourage you to strive/work harder, be an even ‘better’ person. Success is its own reward as they say.

One of the biggest pleasures in winning or passing something is being able to display your achievement? Your cup, medal or certificate? Look at the elation of teams/individuals when they win the a  trophy. The proud teenager with their school exam results paper (provided they passed of course).

Who gets to know you passed the test of life?

Where’s the list of who passed and who failed pinned on a notice board?

Perhaps all religious writings should come with an appendix?

I’m sure there are lots of theological arguments about why this isn’t so or necessary.

I just think it would be nice. I very rarely win anything.

Except the wooden spoon. 😉

Rod, Todd (and God)

Rod?
Yes, Todd?
What is God?
God is everything and everywhere Todd.
Rod?
Yes, Todd.
Did God give me allergies?
Yes, Todd. God tests us. All of life is a test.
Is the prize going to Heaven Rod?
Yes Todd. You will get to live with God forever.
Rod?
Yes Todd.
Does God have anti-histamines?
*sneeze*
*Sigh*. Yes Todd. And tissues.

Containment?

This just a piece. A bit of creative writing. Don’t take it too seriously. Doesn’t mean anything. Enjoy.

Containment? CONTAINMENT? Don’t try to subdue my beast. How dare you suggest that I want to be punished. Caged? That I secretly desire to be jailed or locked in hospital. Or dead. Your words offend me. There are no walls strong enough to hold me. No chains thick enough. You say I want to punish myself? I will show YOU the true meaning of punishment. I will rip your skin from your flesh and wear it like a flag. I shall hold your head aloft so all can see the error of your ways. I do not wish to be contained. And you shall not see it come to pass. I will live and thrive. If only that would be your fate. Containment? Your wish, therapist, not mine